Two Parts Make a Whole: Married and Gay (read Happy!)

They wed under a chuppah, a traditional canopy that symbolizes the home that they will create in Jewish tradition, held by close family and friends, flanked by the media with Gloria Allred at their side. Robin Tyler and her partner (now her wife), Diane Olson said their vows, led by Rabbi Denise Eger, and beamed with joy. As they stepped on glass, a gesture of good luck in both Jewish and Colombian traditions, I felt Goosebumps rise on my forearms (in between the massive mosquito bites from my weekend’s venture back east to Massachussets – the only other state with legal same sex marriage). If all goes well I will be able to have my own marriage here in California, and it will be an equally emotional event.

But over an over again I go query myself and others, why is marriage for same sex couples even a debate?

• Because our education system is sub-par.
• Because there are an abundance of U.S. citizens who don’t quite conceive of the separation between church and state.
• Because we give credence to Christian views over other religious traditions.
• Because those who believe themselves to be the most faithful of Christians, base it on their belief in the literal word of the bible (despite their having never read it, or only read the parts that can actually be carried out in 2008 – i.e., stoning someone in a square, uhmm not acceptable by law –

I’d like those so-called Christians, who hate on gay couples to tell me where in the Bible does god prescribe how we should appropriately use the internet? Funny how that isn’t there right? Let’s really think about these literal readings again and try to find something that is consistent through the bible that can’t really be touched past present or future… LOVE. Exercise that!

Hate is like sitting on a couch, it doesn’t require a great deal of effort…

But alas, if your church is disapproving of same sex relationships, so be it. Gay couples will go elsewhere to places of worship that do. But too many don’t understand that gay couples seek not to affect the relationships or perspectives of those who hide behind religious belief to justify bigoted views (ok that’s sort of a lie, in a perfect world, there wouldn’t be bigots, but we’ll settle for co-existing with bigots, so long as our rights are acknowledged by law).

Those who argue that marriage is a religious word, meh… So you mean to tell me that in one breath folks are quick to say their religion is THE religion, and in the next will align themselves with other faith traditions in order to ensure that queer folks can’t get married?

Sounds like changing the rules to suit one’s purposes… I’m not buying it.

To all of the couples tying the knot in California, thank you for your courage, thank you and I wish you all the blessings I can muster up. Darian snagged a great quote from Laura Douglas-Brown when he wrote his marriage blog today, which reads:

"…within our own community, we also need to acknowledge that marriage is more than the sum of its parts. Not just a mere collection of individual rights, it’s a collective statement about whether our relationships, and thus we as gay people, are worthy of respect, equality and justice.

More than just saying ‘I do,’ marriage is about saying ‘we are.’"

Their union is symbolic of a step forward for our nation, even if we are short a miracle. As we move forward we’ll still be dragging behind us those who would oppose the loving relationship of two committed partners because they are of the same sex. But a step forward nonetheless.

To see more photos of Robin & Diane's wedding.