So I published this piece about Sakia Gunn a few weeks back (thanks to those of you who checked it out) and I have to say the number of responses that it's gotten was overwhelming; in a good and a bad way. I've read EVERY comment (all 230 of them - last I checked). The responses have been both refreshing and alarming. But it set off a light bulb...
So... I'm working on a project and I wanted to tap folks for their input.
What are random questions straight people ask you? [and straight folks out there if you have a burning question (that you aren't sure you should ask someone- for whatever reason) email it to me.]
I think addressing them might be helpful in debunking some painfully archaic myths and perhaps work on building s between us. At the end of they day we are STILL BLACK!
Here are a few examples I came up with:
1. Do you believe in God?
As if being gay necessarily means that a person can't be spiritually grounded. LOL
What boggles my mind is that EVERY time something gay comes up, homophobic black folks go running for a bible, a scripture, a cross, somethin'... to save them from the scary gays. It's ironic that on pages where they show pictures of scantily clad women, and post the lyrics of the men that debase them, we don't hear folks pullin out the good book and recite scripture the way we do for anything that has to to with being gay. A little ODD... Then ensues the diatribe about sin etc. but last I checked, we are ALL sinners and no sin is bigger, more weighted or important than another. It's the PEOPLE who give it more or less meaning in their lives, and those people don't want to admit that they simply have an ick factor when they think about the parts that really don't concern them...
2. Were you molested? Did that make you gay?
Touchy subject. Folks perpetuate this idea that people "turn" gay because they are a victim of sexual assault, as if there aren't any straight adults who have been subject to sexual assault. It comes with value judgments about the effects of sexual assault, that are problematic. Think before you ask, get educated about sexual assault.
3. Why are gay people so flamboyant?
Which sometimes translates to "Why are some gae boi's constantly Stuntin'?" LOL Truth be told, I ask myself this too, but all in fun cuz it aint as if straight folks don't be actin' up sometimes.
But this often also means "Why are we(gay folk) OUT, OPEN and publicly affectionate with our partners."
To which I would reply, "Why are STRAIGHT people so flamboyant? Because I can't go a day without seeing a couple hugged up and/or kissing in public. I can deal, you can too, boo boo!
4. Gay men and lesbians can't reproduce, why do they want children?
That's besides the point. There are straight people who can't produce for health reasons. It doesn't prevent them from wanting to raise a family with the person they love. What's more, even if there weren't alternatives for gay people to have children, there are many children out there, in the foster care system, on the streets or in abusive or unhealthy homes, that gay couples could and are willing to take in.
5. Why do gay people choose to live that lifestyle?
I chuckle at this one.
LIFESTYLE? First of all, you sound OLD!
Who uses lifestyle outside of magazine headers or on a website? LMAO... Let's get our terminology STRAIGHT (pun intended)
Making $2,000 a month but driving an Escalade in Los Angeles is a "lifestyle" choice, its called "living beyond your means..."
Having a couple baby-mommas and being at the club every weekend rather than at home with your kids is a "life-style" choice, its called "absent daddy" (or some other choice words that (unfortunately) I'm sure more than a few of my woman friends can come up with).
Both are poor lifestyle choices... And we hope for better for all those who choose them.... But being gay? LOL C'mon!!!
That's the other reason I chuckle... and someone addressed this myth that being gay is a CHOICE similar to picking which chucks buy at the store.
I mean REALLY?!? Do you REALLY think gay folks wake up in the morning and decide "Hmm, I think I'll welcome a life of being ostracized, experiencing discrimination and hatred into my life (for the REST of my life). Werd! That's HARD!"
Newsflash- It don't work that way, boo boo. A least not for those of a more SANE kind.
6. What's wrong with saying "NO
Plenty. LOL. First of all... It's disrespectful, hence the strike through.
Second, why do you have to make sure people know you're not gay, unless you're really trying to hide something or really scared someone would ACTUALLY THINK you are. DUH!
Got any other good ones? Give 'em up.
Also...Check out this new spread on AOL Black Voices:
Famous Gay <Black FOLK>