Thank you Rebecca Walker for sharing.
Meet Big "Granny" Kane
- Granny walks in on teenage lesbians having sex
- Non-familial lesbian exits
- Granny commences to beat the crap out of familial lesbian
- Granny THEN takes familial lesbian (limping)
- To non-familial lesbian’s house to make sure HER parents know too.
If this wasn't the content of my worst nightmare comin' up I don't know WHAT is. I used to have these dreams of someone walking in on my while I was “doing the do.” And I was one of those kids dreamt in color and surround sound. I felt my dreams so deeply that, unfortunately it meant I woke up sobbing, scared or on my bedroom floor (falling dream) more than once. Reading the story, I could almost feel the sting in the back of my legs.
Thankfully, I had a little more common sense at 16. No matter how oppressive or unfair certain things felt, I complied until I provide a space of my own. As such, I wouldn’t be caught dead having sex, hell having thoughts, in my grandmother’s (or any of my relatives’ house) for fear that my life would end shortly thereafter. Unspoken rule …
But STILL! Joyce Bedell is all KINDS of wrong!
She is perhaps the personification of what queer youth of color fear when determining whether or not, and when to come out of the closet. Coming out, or being pulled out (as I was) many times can mean homelessness, defamation, and even (as in this case) violence. “BGC” is just one of the reasons why some of us feel there is no choice but to lead inauthentic lives; hiding parts of ourselves in deep closets with padlocked doors.
I’m thankful to those who can be critical of this story in context. Like Renee at “Womanist Musings” who dropped this story a couple days ago, talkin’ bout “Lock Her Damn Ass Up.” She be breakin’ (LOL) but always spits truth! To date she is also the only blogger thus far that has managed to do the story a level of justice. Addressing both bL-aKtivist and womanist perspectives on it.
In an article for the Amsterdam news, Alton H. Maddox wrongheadedly argues that the “White prosecutors destroying Black life,” offering a legal explanation for what makes this case (and others) patently racist. The article is all over the place, but he takes an extra side swipe at gay and lesbian people when he writes:
"Same-sex advocates argue that the struggle for same-sex marriages has a kinship with the civil rights struggle. Wrong! There may be parallels in the two struggles, but there are different rationales. Moreover, many same-sex couples are racist to the core."
First of all, how did BGC become a beacon of "Black life?" She's was hard working, providing a home and beat the crap out of a teenager with a cane. Second, what different rationale is there? Bigotry is bigotry is BIGOTRY. Third, that there are racist same-sex couples is of no consequence, there are racist opposite-sex couples too, your point? It's like saying "Moreover, many black peolpe are sexist to the core." AND? It doesn't make those black people suffer any less from racism because they still manage to inflict oppression on folks -- so goes the argument for same-sex couples that are racists. Furthermore... I'm bLaK! And I am one half of a same-sex couple, HELLO! Black folks that overlook that we are among the same-sex population kill me.
Maddox goes on to mention slave culture and how that may have had an effect on Bedell as well as the existing justice system. Asserting that she was taught" “if you spare the rod, you spoil the child.” Cool, I can deal with the analysis but we need to stop forwarding this myth that abuse equals discipline.
Renee makes a great point about corporal punishment doing little more than creating fear resentment and low self esteem. I believe it. Maybe if we stop beating our kids we can influence them to make better decisions, and build a rapport with them that will encourage dialogue around sex and where respect is earned.
“That’s so sad, and unfortunately not at all uncommon. -- Even more common are the ‘quieter’ abuses; the daily verbal and emotional diatribes and weights levied (sic) against children and teens who fall outside the narrow confines of the middle road. -- Maybe one day the world will change.”
I was one of those teens and perhaps it ‘hits’ a little too close to home. I am thankful for finding the space, and subsequently the courage, to live more authentically each day.
All that said, I am sympathetic to Joyce Y. Bedell even if thoroughly enraged. Sympathetic because she is a 61 yr. old woman, presumably being held in a correctional facility, no matter how foul her actions against her granddaughter were. Sympathetic because she is now subject to a criminal justice system that was never built to serve her or people who look like her. Joyce doesn’t just need punishment, she needs HELP.
I don’t doubt the possibility this story could turn into some eff-ed up sketch in somebody’s stand up show. There is a level of irony that black folk will relate to without considering the problematic homophobic overtures.
The story is heartbreaking. And I am disturbed that it hasn’t gotten more mainstream press, they wasted no time reporting when two lesbians in Los Angeles were abusers. Why not value all black lives the same? I am not surprised, even if I am still disappointed; black lesbian lives have proven time to be thought of as dispensable. Think Sakia Gunn, Khadijah Farmer, and Tanya White.
The Good with the Bad:
What I Like to Call "Ignant":
This foolishness might take the cake:
Join Date: Nov 2005